Tips on How to Encourage a Parent to Consider Assisted Living or other long term care

Discussing a potential move with a loved one can be emotionally challenging, but it's often rooted in genuine care and concern. The following tips may help guide the conversation more thoughtfully and effectively.

Start the conversation early on	Have the conversation early and often before any crisis happens to get an understanding of the individual’s willingness and concerns. Regular check-ins can help normalize the topic.
Listen more than you talk	Take time to listen to understand what the concerns are, the hesitancy, there might be more to it than moving (ex. cost, anxiety of moving away from friends, loss of control, attachment to belongings or specific items).
Focus on the positives	Talk about the positives in senior living communities like no maintenance of the home, meals served restaurant style, social interactions through trips or activities, ability to visit anytime, care available 24/7.
Involve in process	Don’t just talk about this, but also encourage them to visit with you, let them meet staff, try the food. Some communities offer respite stay where they can try it for a day. You could ask: if you had no other choice, what would your ideal community be?
Involve a third party	Involving someone like a social worker or geriatric doctor is a fantastic way to get this conversation started and to make concerns about living alone clear since it comes from a professional.
Be open about your concerns and limitations	It is important to say your concerns about not being able to be there all the time, if falls and no one is there, reaching for something and falling. Caregiving is also exhausting and will limit their care if they need more than you know.
Involve retirement community	After touring, ask what clubs there are and ask if your loved one can attend (ex. gentlemen’s group, knitting club)? Also, is the community hosting an event where you can all go?
Skipping assisted living/ memory care	If goal is moving to assisted living or memory care, paint the picture that if he or she injured themselves and higher level of care is needed, a nursing home will be the only choice and quality of life is not the same there
Compare alternative options	In home help can be more expensive and must deal with coordinating schedules if unable to attend (ex. there is heavy storm, and no one can leave home). Family has other obligations which will leave gaps in coverage.
Use real life examples	Do you both know someone that injured themselves at home and it could have been prevented had that person been in a senior living community? Use real stories that will help resonate.
Be okay with repetition	These are rarely one-time conversations. Stay patient, respectful, and consistent. Approach each discussion with care and understanding—change takes time